Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Art Rooney’s Out To Stop All White Men’s Basketball League


This is a blog about myself playing one of my alter egos Jerry The Secretary.....






I was surfing "the internets" the other day and came across this article about the All White Mens Basketball League.


The first thought that came to my mind was, "Wow that's racist and what a surprise its origin is in the South, matter of fact the Dirty South, in Atlanta." Then it was, "that's pretty funny, I'm surprised Dave Chappelle didn't come up with it first." Then, I cringed, because I thought, "What if my boss Art Rooney saw this article?"


Well, this morning Rooney called me. He saw the article. Here's our conversation.


Rooney: Hey Jerry, you hear about this all white men's basketball league?


Me: Yes Mr. Rooney...


Rooney: No way they will get away with this! I'm putting my cape on right now and flying over to Atlanta. It's Rooney rule time!


Me: You better make it your white pointy hooded cape, sir. This guy "Moose" that's trying to start this league doesn't seem very understanding to ideas about giving minorities an equal chance at a job. And you're getting pretty old now sir, plus you don't have your side kick Chuck Noll anymore to help you out.


Rooney: Old?! You challenging me JTB?! (He calls me Jerry the Bi*** because I'm a male secretary) I still got Tomlin and I'm sure he won't like this neither!! And I've got six rings on and a mean Rope-a-Dope punch if this guy's lookin' to tussle. Pow, right in the kisser! In my day there weren't 12 rounds in boxing, we fought til the end and I won't stop til I'm dead. Ain't that evident JTB?!


Me: Sir, this isn't the 1950s anymore. This guy probably never even heard of the Honey Mooners. He...


Rooney: Shut up B! I'm going to show him why they call this Steel Town USA. I'll shove this Steel Toed Boot my dad made me back in the steel mills straight up his...
Me: Okay sir. Okay.


Rooney: Let me finish boy! Hold all my calls. Tell 'em I got some business to take care of. Rooney rule to the rescue!


Click.


Yea, I'll keep you posted.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Familiar Foes Faced Off In The Super Dome

Last night twas the first time the Saints and Vikings played against each other in a truly meaningful game, but stirring in New Orleans house were two familiar foes back in battle on the biggest stage.

Brett Favre's offense takes on Darren Sharper's defense. Where have I heard that before?
From 2005-2007 Sharper's Vikings defended against Favre's Packers twice a year in their NFC North rivalry.

These match ups had even bigger implications in a pride battle between two of the best ever at their respective positions considering both Favre and Sharper were team mates at Green Bay from 1997-2007.

Sharper was a rookie on the 1997 Packers squad that made it to Super Bowl XXXII but lost to Elway's Broncos. Sharper came just one year late to receive his ring. Green Bay won Super Bowl XXXI against the Patriots just one year prior to Sharper's rookie season.

Green Bay never made it back to the Super Bowl by the time Sharper was released from the Packers in 2004. He quickly got picked up in the worst city Green Bay wanted to see him play, Minnesota.

Sharper won these first two battles, but Favre and the Packers swept the '06 and '07 series. On December 21, 2006 Sharper picked off the old man, the only time he's accomplished that feat. But, he had to feel his prime slipping and that elusive ring seemed to lose its shine, darkening the long road towards the end of the tunnel that leads back to a Super Bowl appearance.

The Packers got tired of Favre's back and forth retirement plans so Brett went packing to New York in 2008. This proved to be Sharper's last season with Minnesota.

Now, this year Favre is in the worst city Green Bay wanted to see him play, Minnesota. Sharper moved on to the city where Favre won his only Super Bowl, New Orleans.

Green Bay fans must have been sick watching two of the best ever to wear a Packers uniform face off for a Super Bowl berth while not wearing Green and Yellow in last nights NFC Championship game.

Both Favre and Sharper's long journeys back to a Super Bowl collided head on and the way these two played it showed they knew each other's games well.

Favre threw for over 300 yards. Sharper recorded 11 tackles, his most in any game this season.
In the end, Favre's offense scorched Sharper's defense, but like Darren always does, he found a way for his team to create turnovers to come up with a victory.

Finally, Sharper got that win again in the head-to-head battle against Favre. Even though he's 3-4, losing more than he's won against Favre, I'm sure he's happy with where this last win is taking him.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Video: Father Names Son J.E.T.S to Reverse Super Bowl Curse

Just before the 2009 NFL regular season began, New York Jets fan Tom Schonberg named his new born son Jake Edward Thomas Schonberg, initials J.E.T.S.

Tom said he named his son J.E.T.S in hopes it would break the 41 year long Super Bowl drought/ curse Tom had put on the team by being born.

Tom was born in 1970, the Jets last Super Bowl win happened in 1969. Tom's always been a hardcore Jets fan and while growing up in New York Tom was constantly called a curse to the Jets organization by all his friends that were Giants fans. Below is a link to the interview.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YF93U2U38u8

Now, here the Jets are, just one win away from a Super Bowl appearance and just two wins away from Tom looking like the God of the Jets for creating a Super Bowl berth and championship; with little Jake looking like a savior, the Jets' Jesus if you will.

Monday, January 18, 2010

Jerry’s Jones-ing For A Successful Playoff Coach; Wade Phillips-head Screwed




Have you ever had that “someone’s staring directly at me” feeling and then you lift your head and find someone is ominously glaring at you? Then the person looks away real quick, like they almost got caught thinking out loud on how to plan your execution? You know, that same look OJ gave Nicole Simpson? Well… Wade Phillips definitely knows exactly what I’m talking about.


As if it wasn’t bad enough for Phillips and the Cowboys to be losing 27-3 in the fourth quarter of an NFC divisional playoff game, here strolls down to the sidelines owner Jerry Jones to gander at the massacre of his beloved Cowboys. It was like witnessing the colonial day cowboys being scalped by the native Indians.


It’s nothing new for Jones to migrate from his suite to the sidelines to get an on-the-field close-up perspective of the game, but it’s certainly different for him to make an appearance when Dallas is getting devastatingly demolished almost similar to those tiny Iraq towns when America shot missiles at them to fight the Taliban.


Phillips had a hole burned in the back of his head from how hard Jones was staring at him during yesterday’s melee. It looked like Jones’ head was about to explode when Favre threw that final touchdown pass to put the Vikings up 34-3 with less than two minutes left that sent Keith Brooking running over to Minnesota’s sideline to bi*** about running up the score like he was the father of a Pop Warner child whose team was getting blown out.


This isn’t the first time Jones has got that “I’m going to puke” look on his face. It seems to happen every couple years in the last decade and a half whenever Jerry starts Jones-ing for Dallas to win playoff games.


It’s been way too long since the Cowboys sniffed a Super Bowl appearance, or even a conference championship game for that matter. Jones wants results, and not embarrassing ones, especially in a season where he opened that billion dollar stadium. He wants all that money he spends to equal a championship and Phillips has yet to win one of those in his career.


Even with Dallas ending their over decade long drought without a playoff win by defeating the Eagles, I don’t think that will be enough for Jones to keep Phillips around.


When a Cowboys team goes out like that, Jones doesn’t normally let that head coach come back in. Wade’s like a Phillips-head screw driver… he’s screwed.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

USF Football: Source Says Backups Speak BS; He’s Too Leavitt To Quit

Word around the University of South Florida campus is former head football coach Jim Leavitt’s “slapping” incident wouldn’t have leaked if senior wide receiver Colby Erksin remained on scholarship.

Leavitt got the pink slip Friday after an investigation determined he grabbed sophomore running back/ special teams player Joel Miller by the throat and slapped him twice during halftime of their Nov. 21 game against Louisville and then lied to cover up the incident.

Miller didn’t want to snitch and risk losing playing minutes, his scholarship, or his spot on the team so he asked Erksin what he should do about the incident, according to this Fan House report. Erksin told Fan House reporter Brett McMurphy about the conversation.

“Erksin’s mad because USF pulled his scholarship,” a USF alumnus said, who wants to remain anonymous. “The kid tore his ACL three times and USF told him to get lost.”

Erksin, originally a walk-on, earned a scholarship in 2007 for being one of the fastest kids on the team, running below a 4.3- 40 yard dash. Since then Erksin tore his ACL three times in three years.

Leavitt informed Erksin in October 2008 he wouldn’t be on scholarship for the 2009 season. Erksin took less classes figuring he would have to pay tuition, but then was notified he was still on scholarship in July ’09. Taking less classes cost Erksin a shot at a double major by December of 2009 when he graduated with a criminology degree.

This obviously irked Erksin, but this alone couldn’t get him to complain and risk losing a shot at a sixth year of eligibility with the NCAA, something Leavitt would need to approve.

Once Erksin got word of Leavitt mistreating Miller physically Erksin told McMurphy, who is known around Tampa for his negative publicity on the USF program. McMurphy previously worked as USF’s beat writer for the Tampa Tribune.

“(McMurphy) was fired a couple months ago from the Tampa Tribune for continually negatively reporting on USF,” the USF alumnus said. “His last article with the Tribune said that our freshman defensive end Ryne Giddens is a racist because he got in a shoving match with a white offensive lineman at practice and called him a cracker.”

Below is a video of Leavitt’s reaction when McMurphy asks him a positive question at a press conference.



“McMurphy hates Coach Leavitt,” the USF alumnus said. “So far since he’s worked for Fan House three of the four articles (McMurphy’s) written has bashed USF.”

Not everyone hates Leavitt. Most of the players loved him; even the athletic department loved him. He would run wind sprints with the players during practice and sprint on the field out of the tunnel for the games. He would act like Ray Lewis on the sidelines whenever something meaningful happened during a game.

Jim Leavitt is to USF as Howard Schnellenberger is to UM, but now Leavitt won’t get the chance to bring any championships to South Florida and he may not get a chance to coach again because his reputation is ruined due to an in house matter made public by two people that have a grudge against the man.

After Erksin told McMurphy the story he requested to not attend their International Bowl Game, which USF won 27-3 against Northen Illinois, because he wanted to stay back and rehab his knee. Leavitt cleaned out Erksin’s locker and threw all his belongings in a trash can.

That seems petty, but for Erksin to even request a leave of absence from a bowl game is idiotic. It doesn’t take much to fly to a bowl game with your team even if you aren’t playing, and especially if you’ve received free tuition three years straight just for tearing an ACL every season. That’s not being a team player. Really, that’s trash and obviously Leavitt felt the same way.

Miller is at the center of all this and he still went to the International Bowl Game. Not only did he go, he played! He started on special teams like he does every game so obviously this issue wasn’t that big of a deal to Miller since he played or to Leavitt since he played Miller.

Now that the season’s over and Leavitt’s gone the Miller family hired an attorney to get some money out of this situation. Leavitt is fighting the firing and the allegations.

Oh… what has college football come to? I’m not saying its right to hit a player, especially at the collegiate level, but I’m sure Vince Lombardi (yes I know he wasn’t a college coach) never had to worry about his players snitching or suing for him getting “out of hand” after a player made a mistake.