The Cleveland Browns Need A New Outfit

The way a person dresses says a lot about their character, especially at the work place. If a man wears an ironed long sleeved collared polo shirt with a tie, perfectly creased slacks, and nice dress shoes it looks like he cares. On the other hand, if a man wears the Bill Belichick hoody sweatshirt, a pair of wrinkled cargo pants, and some beat up sneakers it looks the opposite.

Tonight, when watching the Steelers vs. Browns game, tell me who looks like they care more. Pittsburgh will wear some variation of white, black, and gold matching from head to toe looking like a defending champion. They even put the Steelers logo on only one side of their helmet to give that little extra flare to their outfit that no other team possesses.

Then, look at the Cleveland Browns. They’re that guy at work that doesn’t look like he cares about his job. They’ll come out wearing some variation of white, orange, and brown. Who wears orange and brown besides inmates and construction workers? Look at their helmet, its plain orange and why is their so much orange in their uniform when they’re called the Browns? They’re too lazy to even figure out a nice logo to stick on their helmets to represent them selves.

They used to have the Brownie Elf as their logo until owner Art Modell phased that out in the 60s. He must have realized the Brownie Elf didn’t make his team seem very tough considering the name Brownies was originally given to the Girl Scouts of USA.

Cleveland does have the dog pound, though. Those loyal crazed fans that will sit in the freezing cold weather to watch a 1-11 team that still hasn’t reached a Super Bowl and probably couldn’t make a bowl game if they played their season in the college ranks. But when you think about it, what does a dog pound have to do with the Browns? Oh, wait, I know, it’s because every opponent they face is like their master. They own them and punish the Browns every time Cleveland doesn’t play the right way.

Even my girlfriend, who hates football and barely knows anything about it, asked me during the Browns vs. Ravens Monday night game, “Why don’t they have a symbol on their helmets? Are they the only team that doesn’t have one? And they have the ugliest uniforms. No wonder they suck, they can’t have much confidence when they look like that.”

Perfectly put girlfriend. Maybe they should make Charlie Brown their mascot and logo, it would suit them perfectly.